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fish jokes
Photo: Mike Johnston

Did you hear the one about the fish…the best fish jokes

For most of us, fishkeeping is a serious business; it’s a very lucrative industry too. However, I’ll have to admit that I’ve never heard any decent fish jokes. Below are the best I’ve managed to find, please feel free to comment which is your favourite and suggest other jokes too.

Noah started building several arks for various parts of animal kingdom. One was a split level job for all the fish – a multi-storey carp ark

There’s plenty of fish in the sea, but until I catch one, I’m just stuck here holding my rod.

Two parrots sitting on a perch…the first one says to the other “can you smell fish?

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?…He prawned everything

Where do fish wash?…In a river basin

Where does seaweed look for a job?…In the ‘Kelp-wanted’ ads

Why is a fish easy to weigh?… Because it has its own scales

Which fish is the most valuable?…A Goldfish

Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?…Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish

Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? …Just for the halibut

What fish goes up the river at 100mph?… A motor pike

Which fish go to heaven when they die?…Angelfish

Men are like fish; neither would get in trouble if they kept their mouth shut.

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